Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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