I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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