i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
