thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
