as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
