I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
