I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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