Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
