So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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