we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
