I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
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