"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
