Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
