i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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