you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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