Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
