how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
