3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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