Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
