when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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