this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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