Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
