Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
