that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
