tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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