The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
