No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
