Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
