I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
