there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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