Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
