I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I'm at about main and main street
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
