i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
