I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
