Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
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