I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
