Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
