Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
