We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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