in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
