You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
It's blow job season.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
