the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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