No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
All I want is dick and wine.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
