that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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