matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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