i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
