worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I believe in your delicious
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
