The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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