So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
