My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
